Surah 2: 212-237: divorce law in the Qur’an

So, listen. The Jefferson Qur’an is a critical reevaluation of the Qur’an. Emphasis on critical. The whole point of the book is to razorblade away the parts of the Qur’an that are ridiculous, immoral, or just pointless or repetitive. But it is also an attempt to take the Qur’an more seriously than many parts of either my secular or my American culture do. I live in a country where a substantial percentage of my countrymen want to literally commit genocide against Muslims, to commit war crimes against them, to specifically exempt them from the protections of the Constitution or even of internationally-undisputed norms of basic political and economic rights. There are a lot of people in my country who, whether or not the use the word, hate Muslims. So I think I have a responsibility to be measured in the things that I say and the way that I describe the Qur’an to you.

Women in the Qur’an, Traditions, and Interpretation is an excellent primer on this subject for both Muslims and non-Muslims. The fact that there is something “off” about gender relations in the Qur’an is one of those things that everyone in the culture has some vague awareness of even if they lack specifics. And it’s very true. The Qur’an creates very different legal and even moral worlds for men and for women, and one of those worlds is way better than the other one.

That being said, the same is true of the Bible. The Bible tells women to shut up and stop learning. The Bible tells women to veil their faces. A woman still cannot have the “real” jobs in the Catholic Church or in an Orthodox Jewish community. And, just like the Qur’an, Christians and Jews alike have had centuries of painful self-reflection and attempted rehabilitation of the bizarro gender norms presented in the Bible. I recommend John Maxwell’s Wisdom from Women in the Bible: Giants of the Faith Speak into Our Lives (Giants of the Bible), since a) it is one I have actually read, and b) it, too, does not mince words about the fact that the struggle for gender equality in the modern Christian community is up a very steep hill of textual opposition.

Today’s section deals with divorce laws in the Qur’an. I’m going to skip over verses 2:2-212-2:220 for right now since they are largely duplicative of material from the previous two sections, though there is a lot of good material in them and a lot of it will be included in the final version of the Jefferson Qur’an, as noted at the end of this post. To wit, here is Yusuf Ali’s translation of this crucial section of the Qur’an’s laws on divorce:

 

221. Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.

Note that 2:221 at least starts off by giving a reciprocal obligation for both men and for women not to marry “unbelievers.” The Qur’an also acknowledges that both men and women can be “allured” or seduced by the other gender, even though the traditional Western conception of the “seductress” has no male equivalent – the “Lothario” is the closest thing, but he is not evil in the way that a “seductress” is.

222. They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.

Islam is not the only old-time religion that has a bizarre aversion/obsession with menstruation. Levitical law foists an especially weird and sexist aversion to the natural physiological byproducts of being born with two X chromosomes on the believer. The notion that there is something shameful, unhealthy, or even evil about menstruation abounds in religions around the world and I genuinely do not understand it. If there were a God who wanted us to be fruitful and multiply, you think he’d want us to be rather fond of the menstrual cycle, since a woman who menstruates is the sole fruitful multiplier of humans in the universe. I don’t know. It’s strange. I have no use for “periods are gross” in what is supposed to be the anthology of supreme moral guidance and cosmic wisdom.

Notice also that this part of the Qur’an does not specify what it means for a woman to “purify” herself after she stops menstruating. I assume this is because Muhammed likely lived in a culture that, like many cultures of his (and our) day, had a general aversion to menstruation and so already had “menstruation purification” rituals built into it, the same way that if I tell someone to “blow their nose” or “be polite,” the culture around me will supply the details of what that actually means without me having to spell it out in great detail. What the purification ritual looked like for Muhammed’s culture is hard to say with specificity except that, later in the Qur’an, I will be able to show you what it means for Muhammed.

223. Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.

224. And make not Allah.s (name) an excuse in your oaths against doing good, or acting rightly, or making peace between persons; for Allah is One Who heareth and knoweth all things.

225. Allah will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing.

“Tilth” means the cultivation of land. It’s a nice sentiment, to respect your wives as, you know, fertile fields, but it lacks a certain romantic charm.

Also note in 225, the believer is presented with another inconsistent proposal as to whether or not the Qur’an has a universalist soteriology. 

226. For those who take an oath for abstention from their wives, a waiting for four months is ordained; if then they return, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

227. But if their intention is firm for divorce, Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

228. Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah Hath created in their wombs, if they have faith in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation. And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

2:228 is the quintessential legal framework for divorce in the Qur’an. A woman has to wait for three menstrual cycles before her divorce is finalized. Her husband gets a 90-day, no-questions-asked, money-back guarantee on divorce. Women have rights “similar” to men according to what is “equitable,” but also men have “advantage” over them. The unhelpful lack of specificity has given Islamic societies around the world to interpret to their hearts’ content, with sometimes truly revolting results.

229. A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold Together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you, (Men), to take back any of your gifts (from your wives), except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah. so do not transgress them if any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah, such persons wrong (Themselves as well as others).

230. So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably), He cannot, after that, re-marry her until after she has married another husband and He has divorced her. In that case there is no blame on either of them if they re-unite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. Such are the limits ordained by Allah, which He makes plain to those who understand.

2:229 tells a man that, if he has left his wife but “reclaimed” here before her three periods are up, he only gets one more shot at walking away before they have to make a decision. Looking at this verse it strikes me as like one of those American laws that is so weirdly specific and seemingly unnecessary that it must have been based on some specific incident that was so stupid that they just had to make a law out of it. Maybe Muhammed had a companion who was a serial heartbreaker, or one of those relationships like you knew in college where two of your friends would break up and get back together every six weeks for four years, and got so sick of it that he created a divine law just to shut them up. My Facebook might actually benefit from a rule like this.

231. When ye divorce women, and they fulfil the term of their (‘Iddat), either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms; but do not take them back to injure them, (or) to take undue advantage; if any one does that; He wrongs his own soul. Do not treat Allah.s Signs as a jest, but solemnly rehearse Allah.s favours on you, and the fact that He sent down to you the Book and Wisdom, for your instruction. And fear Allah, and know that Allah is well acquainted with all things.

(‘Iddat is the three-period waiting, uh, period, established above.)

232. When ye divorce women, and they fulfil the term of their (‘Iddat), do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands, if they mutually agree on equitable terms. This instruction is for all amongst you, who believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is (the course Making for) most virtue and purity amongst you and Allah knows, and ye know not.

233. The mothers shall give such to their offspring for two whole years, if the father desires to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms. No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. No mother shall be Treated unfairly on account of her child. Nor father on account of his child, an heir shall be chargeable in the same way. If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them. If ye decide on a foster-mother for your offspring, there is no blame on you, provided ye pay (the mother) what ye offered, on equitable terms. But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what ye do.

234. If any of you die and leave widows behind, they shall wait concerning themselves four months and ten days: When they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame on you if they dispose of themselves in a just and reasonable manner. And Allah is well acquainted with what ye do.

235. There is no blame on you if ye make an offer of betrothal or hold it in your hearts. Allah knows that ye cherish them in your hearts: But do not make a secret contract with them except in terms Honourable, nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled. And know that Allah Knoweth what is in your hearts, and take heed of Him; and know that Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing.

236. There is no blame on you if ye divorce women before consummation or the fixation of their dower; but bestow on them (A suitable gift), the wealthy according to his means, and the poor according to his means;- A gift of a reasonable amount is due from those who wish to do the right thing.

237. And if ye divorce them before consummation, but after the fixation of a dower for them, then the half of the dower (Is due to them), unless they remit it or (the man’s half) is remitted by him in whose hands is the marriage tie; and the remission (of the man’s half) is the nearest to righteousness. And do not forget Liberality between yourselves. For Allah sees well all that ye do.

These rules are more helpfully specific than the rules for divorce in the Bible and are detailed enough that one could actually build a legal framework around them. Remember, Muhammed is building a nation, not just a cult, so his rules will necessarily be more detailed and specific than anything you read in the New Testament. But do notice that these rules, even if they sound equitable or at least not entirely unfair (you must, for example, be reasonable in dividing a dower if you divorce before it is exercised), these rules are addressed to men. The women are them and the men are ye.

The Qur’an, like many other old-time religions, is also fixated on virginity and “consummation” in what strikes me as an unhealthy fashion. Having a specific rule to help you arithmetize the money owed to a person based on whether or not you’ve had sex with them is just strange to me and probably sounds very weird to modern ears. This, too, is likely based on rules that preexist Muhammed in pre-Islamic Arabia.

“Liberality” in 2:237 can also be translated as “generosity,” FYI.

So, now to carve some goodness out of this strange and slightly perverted section. Here is the material that I will be including in the final product, the Jefferson Qur’an:

2:212 The life of this world is alluring to those who reject faith.

I just like the sentiment here. Life just seems better to people who “reject faith.” As an atheist, I do not have to believe that my life is just a waiting room for death, that not much really matters in the finite life because there is an infinite life waiting for me afterward.

2:215 They ask you what they should spend in charity. Say: Whatever you spend that is good, is for parents and kindred and orphans and those in want and for wayfarers.

2:216 It is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and you love a thing which is bad for you.

2:217 Tumult and oppression are worse than slaughter.

2:219 They ask you concerning wine and gambling. Say: “In them is great sin, and some profit, for men; but the sin is greater than the profit.” They ask you how much they are to spend; say: “What is beyond your needs.”

2:224 Make not Allah’s name an excuse in your oaths against doing good, or acting rightly or making peace between persons.

2:233 No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of his child.

2:235 There is no blame on you if you make an offer of betrothal or hold it in your hearts.

Most of the material that remains falls into my generous-to-the-Qur’an rule of “anything relatively unconcontroversially good gets through to the Jefferson Qur’an,” even though much of this material is repeated from earlier sections.

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Surah 2:194-211: “do good.” Thanks.

The previous section of the text we went through saw language that is a little more law-like than most other religious books, in that the Qur’an prescribes mundane rules about everything from contracts to wills and estates seemingly devoid of any particular religious or theological meaning. As I posited, this is because Muhammed saw himself tasked with building not just a faith but a society in the face of the political turmoil of contemporary Medina where this Surah was almost certainly written. The strange moral construct of the “law of equality” – an Islamic moral code that is presented inconsistently sometimes multiple times in the same paragraph – comes back in the next section, which otherwise returns more to religious and ritualistic law.

But a lot of it isn’t even truly, uniquely Islamic – laws about Ramadan, the pilgrimage to Mecca (the hajj), and other seemingly unique features of Islam far predate Muhammed’s time in Medina.

I rather like this new convention of doing commentary interspersed with the text rather than give you the block of Muhammed’s thoughts then the block of mine. Lets do that. Take it away, Yusuf:

194. The prohibited month for the prohibited month,- and so for all things prohibited,- there is the law of equality. If then any one transgresses the prohibition against you, Transgress ye likewise against him. But fear Allah, and know that Allah is with those who restrain themselves.

So begins a confusing re-entry into the “law of equality” that was referenced in verse 2:190. 2:190 told the followers of Allah to only make defensive war, and not to “transgress limits,” implying that there is some ceiling on the amount of suffering one is allowed to inflict even in self-defense. 2:194 is a simpler story. Another translation I like ellides in an editorial explanation of the first clause of 194: “[fighting in] the sacred month is for [aggression committed in] the sacred month.” That is a ton of editorialization so take it with a grain of salt, but that reading does at least render this verse thematically consistent with the Hammurabi-style, eye-for-an-eye legal theme of 2:190.

194 also serves the purpose of clarifying that even the “sacred month” (Ramadan) still brooks some sin and bloodshed, but only if need be, ie, in the cause of self-defense. Whether this law is better categorized as a “religious” law or a “mundane” law is a value judgment all your own; it is so common-sense that a nation should not totally disarm for any reason, much less a purely religious reason, shouldn’t need to be stated. Unless, of course, you are self-consciously aware that future nations will be writing their laws based on your book and so even seemingly-trivial inconsistencies or absurdities need to be resolved in writing, as I believe Muhammed was.

195. And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah, and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah loveth those who do good.

Now that’s a helpful moral statement. “Do good.” Great, very helpful.

Whether or not an action is good because the Qur’an says so, or whether the Qur’an says an action is good because it is independently good, harks back to the inconsistent soteriology (salvation doctrine) of the Qur’an. The Qur’an adopts at least two and possibly three inconsistent positions on salvation in the same paragraph. If someone is good for goodness’ sake but doesn’t become a Muslim, there is a Qur’anic argument both for and against that person’s eternal reward. And so when we read the Qur’an commanding us to “do good,” this is very unhelpful in isolation, because we do not know if “good” means “do what is good and Allah will reward you,” or if it means, “good is doing what the Qur’an tells you, so you must do everything the Qur’an orders you to.” In a book that liberally intersperses both general moral commands and specific legalisms, this is just bad editorial policy.

But there may be some help in contrast:

196. And complete the Hajj or ‘umra in the service of Allah. But if ye are prevented (From completing it), send an offering for sacrifice, such as ye may find, and do not shave your heads until the offering reaches the place of sacrifice. And if any of you is ill, or has an ailment in his scalp, (Necessitating shaving), (He should) in compensation either fast, or feed the poor, or offer sacrifice; and when ye are in peaceful conditions (again), if any one wishes to continue the ‘umra on to the hajj, He must make an offering, such as he can afford, but if he cannot afford it, He should fast three days during the hajj and seven days on his return, Making ten days in all. This is for those whose household is not in (the precincts of) the Sacred Mosque. And fear Allah, and know that Allah Is strict in punishment.

This overlong verse is self-explanatory so instead what I will highlight is a possible resolution to the question I ask about verse 195, which is whether “good” means “good” or “good” means “Qur’anic.” The opening of verse 196 with a new sentence and the word “and” (consistent across every translation I used in preparing the Jefferson Qur’an) makes me as a reader think that verse 196 is setting itself up to contrast (in some way) with verse 195. Perhaps 195 is telling us to be good for its own sake, and verse 196 is saying, in addition to doing good, one should do this other category of thing and go on the Hajj if you can. Perhaps this is a complicated bit of moral philosophy, and perhaps Muhammed was a bad writer. 

197. For Hajj are the months well known. If any one undertakes that duty therein, Let there be no obscenity, nor wickedness, nor wrangling in the Hajj. And whatever good ye do, (be sure) Allah knoweth it. And take a provision (With you) for the journey, but the best of provisions is right conduct. So fear Me, o ye that are wise.

198. It is no crime in you if ye seek of the bounty of your Lord (during pilgrimage). Then when ye pour down from (Mount) Arafat, celebrate the praises of Allah at the Sacred Monument, and celebrate His praises as He has directed you, even though, before this, ye went astray.

199. Then pass on at a quick pace from the place whence it is usual for the multitude so to do, and ask for Allah.s forgiveness. For Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

200. So when ye have accomplished your holy rites, celebrate the praises of Allah, as ye used to celebrate the praises of your fathers,- yea, with far more Heart and soul. There are men who say: “Our Lord! Give us (Thy bounties) in this world!” but they will have no portion in the Hereafter.

The original specifics of the pilgrimage to Mecca are hopelessly lost to time and were apparently inconsistent among the pre-Islamic “pagans” of Arabia even before Muhammed’s time, but what is certain is that the pilgrimage to Mecca itself in one form or another predates Islam by centuries. F.E. Peters’ the Hajj is an excellent sourcebook on the modern and ancient practice of the Hajj and goes into far more detail than I can here.

The early pilgrimage to Mecca lacked the Biblical interpolations Muslims today follow (such as casting stones at Satan and going to Mt. Arafat); it was about going to Mecca and probably also visiting the Kaaba, which too was a site of ritual significance long before Muhammed for reasons we can at best only intelligently speculate about. Muhammed has blatantly co-opted it, laying upon it as he is wont to do an innovative retelling of the Hebrew Scriptures (which Muhammed knew… poorly) to preserve his connection to, but not reinvention of, the ancestral monotheism he wishes to replace. Today it is the iconic unique feature of Islam, but its true origins are lost to us, except to say that Muhammed did not invent the Hajj.

201. And there are men who say: “Our Lord! Give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and defend us from the torment of the Fire!”

202. To these will be allotted what they have earned; and Allah is quick in account.

Another ill-presented and unusual moral lesson. If 2:201-202 says that all we have to do to get our eternal reward is ask for it, then what is the point of all the do-gooding we’re asked to do in verses 195 and 196? But then, 202 does not actually tell us what the reward is. What does somebody “earn” by a profession such as 2:201? The Qur’an doesn’t say.

203. Celebrate the praises of Allah during the Appointed Days. But if any one hastens to leave in two days, there is no blame on him, and if any one stays on, there is no blame on him, if his aim is to do right. Then fear Allah, and know that ye will surely be gathered unto Him.

There is a set of two “sacred days” some Muslims apparently may have believed (or inherited the belief of being) set aside for the Hajj. This verse tells the reader that there is apparently nothing special about these sacred days – Muhammed, perhaps, shearing away some extraneous paganism from the original Hajj rituals to make way for all of the Hebrew testament references.

204. There is the type of man whose speech about this world’s life May dazzle thee, and he calls Allah to witness about what is in his heart; yet is he the most contentious of enemies.

205. When he turns his back, His aim everywhere is to spread mischief through the earth and destroy crops and cattle. But Allah loveth not mischief.

206. When it is said to him, “Fear Allah., He is led by arrogance to (more) crime. Enough for him is Hell;-An evil bed indeed (To lie on)!

207. And there is the type of man who gives his life to earn the pleasure of Allah. And Allah is full of kindness to (His) devotees.

If Muhammed was referring to a specific person here, that person is lost to history. Likely, this is prophylactic apologetics, encouraging his people to mentally separate Muhammed out from all those other itinerant prophets, the latter of whom will distort the authentic message with their lies and is, in fact, not just wrong (2:204), but is in fact positively evil, out to steal food from your kids’ mouths (2:205).

208. O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy.

It is not clear whether or not “the evil one” described here is the generic wicked-tongued heretic described in the previous verses, or is Satan.

209. If ye backslide after the clear (Signs) have come to you, then know that Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

210. Will they wait until Allah comes to them in canopies of clouds, with angels (in His train) and the question is (thus) settled? but to Allah do all questions go back (for decision).

211. Ask the Children of Israel how many clear (Signs) We have sent them. But if any one, after Allah.s favour has come to him, substitutes (something else), Allah is strict in punishment.

And here we have a nice shout-out back to the original anti-apostasy prohibitions from earlier in the chapter, mixed with the continued polemic against “the Children of Israel” as wicked, fallen apostate Muslims instead of as authentic, devout Jews.

I kept some of the material from this section for inclusion in the Jefferson Qur’an that will require some explanation. Here are the verses:

2:195 Do not make your own hands contribute to your destruction, but do good.

2:204 There is the type of man whose speech about this world’s life may dazzle you, and he calls Allah to witness about what is in his heart; yet he is the most contentious of enemies.

2:205 When he turns his back, his aim everywhere is to spread mischief through the earth and destroy crops and cattle.

2:195 is one of those uncontroversially decent moral commands that I will always presumptively include in the final text of the Jefferson Qur’an as a gesture of good faith towards the Qur’an, which after all is losing about 95% of its original material in the course of this editing. 2:204-205, however, I will explain. Its functionality as an ironic warning against people just like Muhammed is simply too charming a textual quirk for me to pass up. It will therefore find use in a particular section of the Jefferson Qur’an, once this long slog through the native text is completed.

Surah 2:178-193: the common law of the Qur’an begins

The next section begins Surah 2’s Islamic nation-building theme in earnest. Many religious books contain laws, such as kosher laws and general prohibitions on murder and theft and the life, but the Qur’an goes to a level of detail and “practicality” far beyond the Bible. I put “practicality” in scare-quotes because some of the legal recommendations made in this section are in fact wildly impractical and of dubious morality; I mean to say that they are procedural, that they describe actual courtroom practices instead of just laying out broad normative moral commands.

As I have said, this level of detail is necessary because of the social and political realities of the time in which Surah 2 was written. The Medinan Period, the time that Muhammed spent in Medina (Yathrib) and during which about half of the chapters of the Qur’an were written, was a time of political intrigue and turmoil in the Arabian peninsula. I’ve written already about the complex interplay of theological and even military factors in the relationship between Muhammed’s followers and the Christians, Jews, and other religious groups that lived together in Medina.

Muhammed’s work in this period is less like the life of Jesus and more like the life of Moses. Where Jesus created a millenarian religious sect that had very little original social agenda beyond preparing for what they believed was the impending apocalypse, Moses had the more difficult job of building a new permanent society out of more or less nothing. (This is not advocacy for the historical accuracy of the received biographies or even the existence of Jesus or Moses, this is summary of the stories as I understand them.) Jesus built a community; Moses built a nation. Muhammed has practical realities to deal with as an important contemporary religious leader, and that is why we see the laws we see in this section.

In fact, Muhammed’s role is so important politically in this period that he wrote an entire new constitution for Medina. It is a question of legitimate academic disagreement whether this part, or any part, of surah 2 predates or postdates the Constitution of Mecca. As you read below, compare and contrast those rules with that Constitution and decide for yourself.

Here is Yusuf Ali’s text with my commentary, with the verses I feel of sufficient moral value to preserve for ultimate inclusion in this blog’s end product, the Jefferson Qur’an:

178. O ye who believe! the law of equality is prescribed to you in cases of murder: the free for the free, the slave for the slave, the woman for the woman. But if any remission is made by the brother of the slain, then grant any reasonable demand, and compensate him with handsome gratitude, this is a concession and a Mercy from your Lord. After this whoever exceeds the limits shall be in grave penalty.
179. In the Law of Equality there is (saving of) Life to you, o ye men of understanding; that ye may restrain yourselves.

This is an interesting and easily-misinterpreted commandment. At least one intreped Qur’an-crawler has mistaken it for a command for freemen, slaves, and women to murder each other.

At least one other source provides the far more useful translation of “retribution” in place of Yusuf Ali’s more flowery “the law of equality.” The savvy reader will see a direct echo to the Code of Hammurabi’s “an eye for an eye.” (Note that this source uses an alternate numbering scheme for the verses of the Qur’an, which are not consistent in the way the different versions of the Bible are.)

While I do not much care for this “law of equality” in murder. Death for death strikes me of a very easy way to deprive one of the power to say that murder is wrong. Death for death means that killing is not wrong, it is merely the intent that matters: that there is nothing of particular consequence about the end results, since both murder and lawful execution produce a corpse out of one of your countrymen, it is merely that one who executes criminals and one who murders are of different legal permissions at the time they do so. Even if we accept the disquieting implication of the death penalty that the sole determinant of moral wrongness under such a system is whether or not a court of law (even a very competent court) has ordered it or not, the prescription of death is incompatible with the legal regimes of many of the most civilized states and nations today.

But on the other hand, the “the law of equality” actually provides and important limiting principles that would be of some use for a lot of the worst parts of Islamic society today (and everybody else’s really). If there is a murder done against your people, the proper response is execution of the murderer; equality between the victim and the crime. Disproportionate devastation of entire societies in response to the misdeeds of a small number of that society’s members has become something of a fad for some nations today – a one-for-one exchange would actually be a step in the right direction for such nations. But I digress.

Other translations also render “remission” as “mercy” in 2:178, another merciful clarification. The sentiment here is that, if the collateral victims of murder such as the family show mercy, the victim should receive some leniency. The potential legal effect of the perpetrator’s contrition is not mentioned.

180. It is prescribed, when death approaches any of you, if he leave any goods that he make a bequest to parents and next of kin, according to reasonable usage; this is due from the Allah.fearing.
181. If anyone changes the bequest after hearing it, the guilt shall be on those who make the change. For Allah hears and knows (All things).
182. But if anyone fears partiality or wrong-doing on the part of the testator, and makes peace between (The parties concerned), there is no wrong in him: For Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

Yet more practicalities: the common law of wills and trusts for Muslims. Muslims are required to make bequests to their children and parents, to be faithful to last wishes, and 2:182 more or less demands the creation of a probate and family court to resolve differences regarding wills. That’s all fine, and not entirely unlike the Anglo-Saxon common law of wills and trusts, and least where the law of intestacy (death without a good will) is concerned. Transfers of property to the next family generation below yours that has living members is a default rule in most versions of the common law of intestacy, with parents being second in line in many cases, and everyone is familiar with the monarchical rule that the eldest son is automatically the sole inheritor unless the deceased makes a contrary affirmation in a proper will.

The only difference is that the Qur’an does not act as a default rule in the way that the Anglo-Saxon common law of intestacy does, it is a moral commandment. A literal reading of 2:180 actually requires a Muslim to make a gift to their dead parents if such is the case. I much prefer the massive complexity of Anglo-Saxon common law (me from my second year of law school is having a seizure or a stiff drink just at the thought).

183. O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint,-
184. (Fasting) for a fixed number of days; but if any of you is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed number (Should be made up) from days later. For those who can do it (With hardship), is a ransom, the feeding of one that is indigent. But he that will give more, of his own free will,- it is better for him. And it is better for you that ye fast, if ye only knew.
185. Ramadhan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur’an, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (Between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting, but if any one is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (Should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful.

Back to religious laws – sort of. Even though 2:184 begins with a religious commandment, it makes much more concessions to context than a lot of other religious texts generally do. The Ten Commandments do not say, “covet not thy neighbor… unless her possessions are really, really cool;” they are more or less unconditional. 2:184, however, requires fasting and charity… unless you’re sick and can’t afford it. It’s a step in the right direction, and is certainly practical enough in the context of the man Muhammed dreaming of a society where everyone should be reasonably expected to actually follow the rules, which is a lot easier when those rules brook contextual complication.

186. When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me: Let them also, with a will, Listen to My call, and believe in Me: That they may walk in the right way.
187. Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate with them, and seek what Allah Hath ordained for you, and eat and drink, until the white thread of dawn appear to you distinct from its black thread; then complete your fast Till the night appears; but do not associate with your wives while ye are in retreat in the mosques. Those are Limits (set by) Allah. Approach not nigh thereto. Thus doth Allah make clear His Signs to men: that they may learn self-restraint.

Regulations for the Ramadan fast: you can have sex during the night, but no afternoon delights while you fast. Clearly the intent here is to represent the Ramadan fast as part of a constellation of self-denials instead of just a literal fast. I have no particular use for Ramadan, but I do like the poetry of “they are your garments and ye are their garments.”

188. And do not eat up your property among yourselves for vanities, nor use it as bait for the judges, with intent that ye may eat up wrongfully and knowingly a little of (other) people’s property.

A moral prohibition against profligacy, and a legal prohibition on judicial graft. It is puzzling why 2:188 would only specifically prohibit bribery of judges to prevent theft, unjust enrichment, or inequitable windfalls, but that’s what the verse says on a literal reading. That is to say, it is woefully inadequate, but Muhammed is trying.

189. They ask thee concerning the New Moons. Say: They are but signs to mark fixed periods of time in (the affairs of) men, and for Pilgrimage. It is no virtue if ye enter your houses from the back: It is virtue if ye fear Allah. Enter houses through the proper doors: And fear Allah. That ye may prosper.

Ramadhan again. As I’ve already discussed, Muhammed’s new religion is more syncretic than its most stalwart will admit. It mixes Judaism, pre-Islamic Arabic religions, Christian liturgy, and all manner of other ideas and theologies together, and has firm historical antecedents for much of its most important themes and tropes. Muhammed wants to keep the ancient sanctity of the cycles of the moon, which is of sufficient significance in the human psyche that it occurs in religions around the world that could never have encountered each other, but to deprive it of its “pagan” importance. Yes the New Moon is important, says Muhammed, but only because it times Ramadan and the Hajj (the trip to Mecca Muslims are supposed to make at least once in their lives if they can afford it).

190. Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loveth not transgressors.
191. And slay them wherever ye catch them, and turn them out from where they have Turned you out; for tumult and oppression are worse than slaughter; but fight them not at the Sacred Mosque, unless they (first) fight you there; but if they fight you, slay them. Such is the reward of those who suppress faith.
192. But if they cease, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
193. And fight them on until there is no more Tumult or oppression, and there prevail justice and faith in Allah. but if they cease, Let there be no hostility except to those who practise oppression.

This is a primer on international law and the laws of war for Muslims. I am dying to know exactly what “limits” Muhammed had in mind; there is no academic theory that I know of holding that some specific incident or contemporary practice would have inspired this line (possibly Muhammed’s treatment of enemy prisoners after the Battle of Badr but that is a guess). 2:191 is a macro-scale version of the “Law of Equality” discussed in verses 178-179 except that it does recognize the contrition of the aggressor as having some significance (instead of the family of the victim).

There is some good material in this section. The chopped-up parts of verses that I will preserve in the final Jefferson Qur’an are:

2:180 When death approaches any of you, if you leave any goods, you should make a bequest to parents and next of kin, according to reasonable usage.
2:181 If anyone changes the bequest after hearing it, the guilt shall be on those who make the change.
2:182 But if anyone fears partiality or wrong-doing on the part of the testator, and makes peace between the parties concerned, there is no wrong in him.
2:190 Fight those who fight you, but do not transgress limits.

“Should” is a sufficient word in 2:180 to maintain a worthy moral prescription without straightjacketing people into giving their money to parents they don’t like or bratty nephews and nieces. 2:181-182 is an unequivocally reasonable command not to mess with peoples’ final wills and testaments. I kept only as much of 2:190 as needed to preserve the also perfectly reasonable order that one should fight a war in self-defense, but that there are limits beyond an eye for an eye, especially when one is talking about conflict on an international scale.

Surah 2:153-177: salvation for… pretty much whoever? For Muslims only? Why not both!

We turn now from a long string of invective against “the Jews,” Christians, and whoever the Sabians are to a new theme. This part of the Surah 2 is more about Islamic nation-building; I’ll break up the inestimable Yusuf Ali’s translation below a little bit to help explain some of what we are looking at here. The Qur’an’s weird essentialism (that Jews are, as a people, essentially or innately apostate from the “Islamic” teachings of their ancestors) is not consistently applied – in this section you will see that not all Muslims, for example, are created equal.

Take it away, Yusuf:

153. O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.
154. And say not of those who are slain in the way of Allah. “They are dead.” Nay, they are living, though ye perceive (it) not.

This sentiment likely makes more sense after one of the more significant events in early Islamic history: the Badr campaign, or the Battle of Badr, which marked the beginning of open hostilities between the Muslims and Jews of Medina and which culminated in the outright expulsion of many of Muhammed’s politico-theological opponents, and also saw the beginnings of open hostilities with the despised Quraysh tribe. The Quraysh were, in fact, Muhammed’s own tribe, but between their mercantile strength in the Arabian peninsula and their refusal to join Muhammed’s growing religion, and likely the uncomfortable suggestion that there could be something banal or worldly about the blood flowing in the Prophet’s veins, they made a natural target.

It therefore would have been an important part of Muhammed’s sermons after these battles to hearten his followers with a common religious refrain: the certain knowledge that those who live and die by the sword ascend to special treatment in the hereafter.

155. Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere,
156. Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”:-
157. They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.
158. Behold! Safa and Marwa are among the Symbols of Allah. So if those who visit the House in the Season or at other times, should compass them round, it is no sin in them. And if any one obeyeth his own impulse to good,- be sure that Allah is He Who recogniseth and knoweth.
159. Those who conceal the clear (Signs) We have sent down, and the Guidance, after We have made it clear for the people in the Book,-on them shall be Allah.s curse, and the curse of those entitled to curse,-
160. Except those who repent and make amends and openly declare (the Truth): To them I turn; for I am Oft-returning, Most Merciful.
161. Those who reject Faith, and die rejecting,- on them is Allah.s curse, and the curse of angels, and of all mankind;
162. They will abide therein: Their penalty will not be lightened, nor will respite be their (lot).
163. And your Allah is One Allah. There is no god but He, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

First, a historical note on verse 158: Safa and Marwa are hills between Mecca and Medina (Yathrib) of a certain theological significance in Islam. Probably owing more to their significance as points of military importance during the prolonged conflicts between the Muslim community of Medina than to the bizarre re-telling of the story of Abraham and Hagar that has survived in Islamic tradition in those hills (you can read about it in the wikipedia link above and in subsequent posts here), they are used here as metaphors for one of many inconsistent solutions to the “Problem of Evil” in Islam.

The Problem of Evil is a recurring theological dilemma for monotheistic religions. I spent a good deal of my undergraduate work building a thesis against Alvin Plantinga’s own response to this problem so I’ll try not to get too long-winded here, but the long and short of it is the old refrain of “if God is real, why do bad things happen?” (I shudder to reduce the problem so savagely but, there it is). Verse 155 makes it seem like Allah uses suffering to test us: “glad tidings” are for those who “persevere” in the face of the horrible things that Allah either causes or allows to happen, as if this is satisfying. Verse 157 goes on to say that Allah in fact rewards those who suffer and persevere, though this likely is of little comfort to those who suffer and die without the promised reward.

There are also two inconsistent views of salvation in this very short passage. Verse 158 gives us a nice, universalist view of salvation: if you obey an internal impulse towards goodness, Allah will notice this and reward you. This verse does not even ask that you believe anything in particular. But just two short verses later in verse 160, one must actually openly declare “the Truth” (stated throughout Surah 2 as knowledge of Allah’s own words) in order to enjoy eternal reward. So in verse 158, goodness is its own reward; in verse 160-163, one must openly confess the narrow theological dictates of Islam in order to be saved. C’est la vie, insh’Allah.

164. Behold! in the creation of the heavens and the earth; in the alternation of the night and the day; in the sailing of the ships through the ocean for the profit of mankind; in the rain which Allah Sends down from the skies, and the life which He gives therewith to an earth that is dead; in the beasts of all kinds that He scatters through the earth; in the change of the winds, and the clouds which they Trail like their slaves between the sky and the earth;- (Here) indeed are Signs for a people that are wise.

Back to the “suffering is an opportunity to persevere and receive the gifts of Allah” view.

165. Yet there are men who take (for worship) others besides Allah, as equal (with Allah.: They love them as they should love Allah. But those of Faith are overflowing in their love for Allah. If only the unrighteous could see, behold, they would see the penalty: that to Allah belongs all power, and Allah will strongly enforce the penalty.
166. Then would those who are followed clear themselves of those who follow (them) : They would see the penalty, and all relations between them would be cut off.

And back to the “narrow theological dictates of Islam” view of salvation.

167. And those who followed would say: “If only We had one more chance, We would clear ourselves of them, as they have cleared themselves of us.” Thus will Allah show them (The fruits of) their deeds as (nothing but) regrets. Nor will there be a way for them out of the Fire.

This actually fills in a theological gap that beleaguers Biblical theologians. There is no explicit statement in the Bible that salvation is only for the living; later Christian theologians have had to convince their flock that they can’t just take their chances in this life and repent after they’ve come to discover the “reality” of Hell in the afterlife. But in Islam, this is a clear statement that salvation is for the living alone. This also makes sense of the necessity of rehabilitating the key figures of the Jewish scriptures as good Muslims: it would be hard to affiliate the new religion with the “authentic” old religion if everyone of Abdhullah’s generation on back automatically went to Hell for not obeying at least half of the salvation views presented in this chapter (Abdullah, “Slave of Allah,” was Muhammed’s father).

Beyond, of course, the political expediency of being able to frame “the Jews” of Yathrib as apostates of the true religion, instead of as members of a (populous and political powerful) “false” religion.

168. O ye people! Eat of what is on earth, Lawful and good; and do not follow the footsteps of the evil one, for he is to you an avowed enemy.
169. For he commands you what is evil and shameful, and that ye should say of Allah that of which ye have no knowledge.

This is likely a reference to Jewish dietary law, which Muslims also follow. “The evil one” is probably a reference to the Adversary, the antagonist of the biblical story of Job and many others. You may know him by the anachronism “Satan.”

170. When it is said to them: “Follow what Allah hath revealed:” They say: “Nay! we shall follow the ways of our fathers.” What! even though their fathers Were void of wisdom and guidance?
171. The parable of those who reject Faith is as if one were to shout Like a goat-herd, to things that listen to nothing but calls and cries: Deaf, dumb, and blind, they are void of wisdom.

Verse 171 has one of my favorite visual metaphors of the Qur’an. It takes a rather dim view of people who are not Muslims and is actually a rather defeatist attitude for an evangelist of Allah to take (why would Muhammed try to spread his religion to anyone if most people are like wild animals, who heed bleating and barking more than reasoning and theology, after all) and frankly, discouraging evangelists is a view I rather like.

172. O ye who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is Him ye worship.

Contrast with verse 168, which says only to eat that which is lawful as opposed to that which Allah has provided. Are we to believe, then, that kosher laws apply to literally everything, or that there are some foods on this good Earth that Allah did not create? From whence then cometh they?

173. He hath only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah. But if one is forced by necessity, without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits,- then is he guiltless. For Allah is Oft-forgiving Most Merciful.

Contrast with verse 172!

174. Those who conceal Allah.s revelations in the Book, and purchase for them a miserable profit,- they swallow into themselves naught but Fire; Allah will not address them on the Day of Resurrection. Nor purify them: Grievous will be their penalty.
175. They are the ones who buy Error in place of Guidance and Torment in place of Forgiveness. Ah! what boldness (They show) for the Fire!
176. (Their doom is) because Allah sent down the Book in truth but those who seek causes of dispute in the Book are in a schism Far (from the purpose).

Another gloomy verse for those who might wish Islam to be a universalist religion – ie, those who rather enjoy verses like 2:158 above.

177. It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the Allah.fearing.

Contrast this verse with those verses above for a third view of salvation. It is not enough to mindlessly obey the silly rituals of Islam, the very ones Muhammed has ordained as profound Truth revealed by God, nor is it enough to be morally good: you have to be good and charitable and believe in Allah and the Last Day and Angels and the Qur’an and Muhammed and your own contracts (!) in order to reach heaven.

I have a theory on the rather out-of-place commandment in 2:177 to follow “the contracts which ye have made.” I try to carefully flag the state of academic consensus when I relay it to you; this theory comes from no academic work that I know of, and if it does, no plagiarism is intended, nor is it intended to reflect the views of any of the many eminent scholars I’ve read and recommended to you so far.

My theory is that the Qur’an’s inclusion of contract law in the criteria for salvation (which sounds silly just writing it) serves a purpose somewhat similar to that of the Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution. The wikipedia article does not do justice to a big part of its historical context. Late 18th/early 19th century America was basically in a state of economic free-fall. In order to assure foreign creditors (who had financed the Revolution and who the American government knew would be financing the inevitable next war with Britain, which came to pass in the War of 1812) and to encourage foreign investment, the 11th Amendment was passed. Surely as wikipedia states this was in part to clarify the authority of the federal government to hear lawsuits against and between individual US states, but it also served the purpose of reassuring foreign creditors that their actions for collection of bad debts would not be overridden by American courts, guaranteeing that foreign creditors and investors would always have at least some remedy available to them should they choose to invest in an American venture.

Likewise, Muhammed, being a merchant himself, knew that the Medinan community’s greatest strength was its traditional commercial power and role as a crossroads of the southern Arabian peninsula. Likewise, Muhammed had to create some language in the Qur’an that would demand of his own followers that they obey the fundamental precepts of commerce in order to continue the project of Islamic nation-building that will become much clearer in the next couple of posts. Otherwise, it would be very easy for the community to become alienated from the greater world of trade (and therefore evangelism).

It would have been easy for Muhammed to say “fulfill your contracts with other Muslims” (in nicer language), but he did not. He simply said to fulfill your contracts. In contrast to the sublime racial wisdom of the 17th Ferengi Rule of Acquisition (I love Star Trek and despise myself for waiting this long to make a reference). This only makes sense if Muhammed saw a role for his community in the greater world beyond the walls of Yathrib, and will make even more sense as we descend over the next couple of posts deeper into the Qur’an’s insanely detailed version of the common law of contracts.

To conclude, here is what remains from today’s section in the Jefferson Qur’an:

2:168 O you people! Eat of what is on earth, lawful and good; and do not follow the footsteps of Evil.

2:170 The say: “Nay! We shall follow the ways of our fathers.” What! Even though their fathers were void of wisdom?

2:177 It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards East or West; but it is righteousness to spend of your substance for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves. Practice regular charity, fulfill the contracts which you have made, and be firm and patient in pain or adversity and throughout all periods of panic.

Note the creative editing necessary to make some basic moral sense out of these. Extracted from the religious context, I have no problem with eating what is “lawful.” Verse 170 serves the fine purpose of excoriating those who base their beliefs about cosmos-scale moral and philosophical questions on what their forebears believed. And I think that the innate virtue of a savagely-edited 2:177 rather speaks for itself.

Surah 2: 122-152: “Strive as in a race towards all that is good!”

Today we officially cross the halfway mark of the titanic surah 2. As with the past several sections, today we are going to see another screed against the Jews, who were Muhammed’s contemporaries and political rivals, continuing Muhammed’s quest to appropriate the Hebrew scriptures without the audience thinking that his is just a sect or reinterpretation of Judaism or of Christianity.

But there’s a little bit of interesting historical material here, so I’m going to break up today’s big chunk into smaller pieces to talk about some of the historical context. As always, I’ll let Yusuf Ali take it away:

122. O Children of Israel! call to mind the special favour which I bestowed upon you, and that I preferred you to all others (for My Message).
123. Then guard yourselves against a Day when one soul shall not avail another, nor shall compensation be accepted from her nor shall intercession profit her nor shall anyone be helped (from outside).
124. And remember that Abraham was tried by his Lord with certain commands, which he fulfilled: He said: “I will make thee an Imam to the Nations.” He pleaded: “And also (Imams) from my offspring!” He answered: “But My Promise is not within the reach of evil-doers.”
125. Remember We made the House a place of assembly for men and a place of safety; and take ye the station of Abraham as a place of prayer; and We covenanted with Abraham and Isma’il, that they should sanctify My House for those who compass it round, or use it as a retreat, or bow, or prostrate themselves (therein in prayer).
126. And remember Abraham said: “My Lord, make this a City of Peace, and feed its people with fruits,-such of them as believe in Allah and the Last Day.” He said: “(Yea), and such as reject Faith,-for a while will I grant them their pleasure, but will soon drive them to the torment of Fire,- an evil destination (indeed)!”
127. And remember Abraham and Isma’il raised the foundations of the House (With this prayer): “Our Lord! Accept (this service) from us: For Thou art the All-Hearing, the All-knowing.
128. “Our Lord! make of us Muslims, bowing to Thy (Will), and of our progeny a people Muslim, bowing to Thy (will); and show us our place for the celebration of (due) rites; and turn unto us (in Mercy); for Thou art the Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.
129. “Our Lord! send amongst them an Messenger of their own, who shall rehearse Thy Signs to them and instruct them in scripture and wisdom, and sanctify them: For Thou art the Exalted in Might, the Wise.”
130. And who turns away from the religion of Abraham but such as debase their souls with folly? Him We chose and rendered pure in this world: And he will be in the Hereafter in the ranks of the Righteous.
131. Behold! his Lord said to him: “Bow (thy will to Me):” He said: “I bow (my will) to the Lord and Cherisher of the Universe.”
132. And this was the legacy that Abraham left to his sons, and so did Jacob; “Oh my sons! Allah hath chosen the Faith for you; then die not except in the Faith of Islam.”
133. Were ye witnesses when death appeared before Jacob? Behold, he said to his sons: “What will ye worship after me?” They said: “We shall worship Thy Allah and the Allah of thy fathers, of Abraham, Isma’il and Isaac,- the one (True) Allah. To Him we bow (in Islam).”
134. That was a people that hath passed away. They shall reap the fruit of what they did, and ye of what ye do! Of their merits there is no question in your case!
135. They say: “Become Jews or Christians if ye would be guided (To salvation).” Say thou: “Nay! (I would rather) the Religion of Abraham the True, and he joined not gods with Allah.”
136. Say ye: “We believe in Allah, and the revelation given to us, and to Abraham, Isma’il, Isaac, Jacob, and the Tribes, and that given to Moses and Jesus, and that given to (all) prophets from their Lord: We make no difference between one and another of them: And we bow to Allah (in Islam).”
137. So if they believe as ye believe, they are indeed on the right path; but if they turn back, it is they who are in schism; but Allah will suffice thee as against them, and He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.
138. (Our religion is) the Baptism of Allah. And who can baptize better than Allah. And it is He Whom we worship.
139. Say: Will ye dispute with us about Allah, seeing that He is our Lord and your Lord; that we are responsible for our doings and ye for yours; and that We are sincere (in our faith) in Him?
140. Or do ye say that Abraham, Isma’il Isaac, Jacob and the Tribes were Jews or Christians? Say: Do ye know better than Allah. Ah! who is more unjust than those who conceal the testimony they have from Allah. but Allah is not unmindful of what ye do!
141. That was a people that hath passed away. They shall reap the fruit of what they did, and ye of what ye do! Of their merits there is no question in your case:
142. The fools among the people will say: “What hath turned them from the Qibla to which they were used?” Say: To Allah belong both east and West: He guideth whom He will to a Way that is straight.
143. Thus, have We made of you an Ummat justly balanced, that ye might be witnesses over the nations, and the Messenger a witness over yourselves; and We appointed the Qibla to which thou wast used, only to test those who followed the Messenger from those who would turn on their heels (From the Faith). Indeed it was (A change) momentous, except to those guided by Allah. And never would Allah Make your faith of no effect. For Allah is to all people Most surely full of kindness, Most Merciful.
144. We see the turning of thy face (for guidance to the heavens: now Shall We turn thee to a Qibla that shall please thee. Turn then Thy face in the direction of the sacred Mosque: Wherever ye are, turn your faces in that direction. The people of the Book know well that that is the truth from their Lord. Nor is Allah unmindful of what they do.
145. Even if thou wert to bring to the people of the Book all the Signs (together), they would not follow Thy Qibla; nor art thou going to follow their Qibla; nor indeed will they follow each other’s Qibla. If thou after the knowledge hath reached thee, Wert to follow their (vain) desires,-then wert thou Indeed (clearly) in the wrong.
146. The people of the Book know this as they know their own sons; but some of them conceal the truth which they themselves know.

Yesterday’s post contains the bulk of my thoughts on the apologetical trick of co-opting Jewish scriptures and condemning the “modern” (7th-century) Jews while uplifting the story and spirit of the “real” (Old Testament-era) Jews (who were, in fact, Muslims, of course) so I won’t belabor it. The only real new material in this section is the explicit argument contained in verse 143, which has a translation trick I’ll need to explain.

Ali does not translate the word “Ummat” for us because there really is no word for it in English. Here is a parallel translation that will give you some idea of what is meant. Rashad’s translation renders it as “an impartial nation;” Muhammed Pickthall (whose translation I think is the most poetic of the ones I read, for the record, but is a little hard to read sometimes) renders it “a middle nation;” other translations that render it as an “exalted” nation are likely based on a post facto superiority view of the Islamic community rather than what Muhammed likely intended – that Islam is the “middle way” for Christians, Jews, and the mysterious Sabians. This “impartial nation” thought is the only one that makes sense of three separate overlapping issues:

  1. As explained in prior posts, Muhammed’s political position upon his return to Medina was that of the role of the mediator between the Christian and Jewish communities of Medina (Yathrib). It would not be helpful, and in fact might be dangerous, to the Muslim community of Medina if Muhammed came out of the gate swinging about the Islamic community being the superior community rather than the “middle way” community.
  2. Verse 135 only makes sense if we see this passage as an attempt to frame Islam as the middle way, by setting “the Jews” and Christians in opposition to each other.
  3. The best available evidence tells us that the Jewish and Christian communities were much larger suppliers of new converts to Islam (Glubb’s The Life and Times of the Prophet is an excellent older source on this point that has been validated by the succeeding decades of academic scholarship) than the Sabians (whoever they were) and the “pagan” communities. It is therefore a simply a sharper rhetorical weapon to contextualize Islam as the middle between the two, not more like one than the other, and not stated in a way that completely alienates either side’s religion as totally bogus.

My two cents.

147. The Truth is from thy Lord; so be not at all in doubt.
148. To each is a goal to which Allah turns him; then strive together (as in a race) Towards all that is good. Wheresoever ye are, Allah will bring you Together. For Allah Hath power over all things.

This is a passage that I genuinely do not understand – or rather, it is written badly. Verse 147 tells us that truth comes from God, so there should be no doubts – yet much of surah 2 is dedicated precisely to those who do doubt (who Muhammed calls “perverse“). Verse 148 goes on to give a contradictory message in a single sentence: Allah decides where everyone turns, but here is where you should turn: the “Good.” Whether or not Muhammed had a sufficiently sophisticated understanding of Greek philosophy to effectively deploy such massively loaded and complex terms as “the Good” with an eye to those philosophies will be discussed in later posts, but I doubt it.

149. From whencesoever Thou startest forth, turn Thy face in the direction of the sacred Mosque; that is indeed the truth from the Lord. And Allah is not unmindful of what ye do.
150. So from whencesoever Thou startest forth, turn Thy face in the direction of the sacred Mosque; and wheresoever ye are, Turn your face thither: that there be no ground of dispute against you among the people, except those of them that are bent on wickedness; so fear them not, but fear Me; and that I may complete My favours on you, and ye May (consent to) be guided;
151. A similar (favour have ye already received) in that We have sent among you an Messenger of your own, rehearsing to you Our Signs, and sanctifying you, and instructing you in Scripture and Wisdom, and in new knowledge.
152. Then do ye remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and reject not Faith.

One final historical diversion: these verses define the qibla, or the direction to which Muslims should face when they are praying. Montgomery Watt and even less partisan sources tell us that, originally, Muslims were instructed to pray towards Jerusalem, before the consecration of the Masjid al-Haram where the Qaaba is located. That Allah would designate a roving point of devotional supremacy is weird enough. But you’ve certainly encountered just through your culture an understanding that Muslims pray in the direction of the Qaaba. What is it?

In surah 3, Muhammed will tell us that the Qaaba (Kaaba is the Anglicization that you have probably seen but one that I don’t particularly care for) is the actual site of the First Temple where Abraham and Solomon worshiped. Beyond the fact that the entire historicity of the First Temple being anywhere at all is in serious question, it is very unlikely that it was located so far south of the Levant.

Ancient Greek historians as far back as Diodorus actually referred to what is likely the area of Mecca as a sacred place long before the rise of Islam and even before Judaism or Christianity had any significant presence in the region. Pre-Islamic non-Abrahamic religion in the area is weird and confusing but do remember that “Allah” had a ritual significance in Arabia long before Islam (Muhammed’s own father was named Abdullah: “Servant of Allah”). There is also some evidence that Mecca itself was something of a demilitarized zone, perhaps to facilitate its role as a trading home, for much of pre-Islamic Arabian history, but whether its religious significance is because of this or a consequence of this is not a matter of academic consensus that I know of.

So really, in my estimation, we know that the Qaaba is, and even have some idea of why it is significant in Islam, but it is otherwise an enduring mystery.

Finally, here is all that I have kept from this section for the Jefferson Qur’an:

2:134 They shall reap the fruit of what they did, and you of what you do!

2:141 They shall reap the fruit of what they did, and you of what you do!

2:148 Strive together as in a race toward all that is good.

This is another case of me preserving a sentiment that I simply like. In fact, I like the sentiment of the repeated phrase above so much that I took it twice. I like the idea that people should be prepared to accept the consequences of their own actions – it is rather at odds with Muhammed’s essentialist wordlview that “the Jews” can be one, harmoniously apostate and fallen people, rather than speaking to the individual goodness of any given Jew, or of any Muslim who are instead condensed into an Ummat.

Surah 2:102-121: “Those to whom We have sent the Book study it as it should be studied…”

Much of the material we have covered so far in surah 2 is essentially apologetics against Judaism and Christianity, and this next section is no different. The fact that Muhammed would dedicate so much time (surah 2 being the longest chapter of the Qur’an) to his critics speaks not only to the relative political and military strength he acquired during his time in Medina, when this surah was almost certainly written, but also to the fact that Muhammed was conscious of the fact that he was creating a new religion, as opposed to a sect or reinterpretation of an existing one.

This section also opens up an interesting historical diatribe on that most magnificent gape in the record of the Qur’an: the Satanic Verses. Here is today’s material, as always from Yusuf Ali’s translation:

102. They followed what the evil ones gave out (falsely) against the power of Solomon: the blasphemers Were, not Solomon, but the evil ones, teaching men Magic, and such things as came down at babylon to the angels Harut and Marut. But neither of these taught anyone (Such things) without saying: “We are only for trial; so do not blaspheme.” They learned from them the means to sow discord between man and wife. But they could not thus harm anyone except by Allah.s permission. And they learned what harmed them, not what profited them. And they knew that the buyers of (magic) would have no share in the happiness of the Hereafter. And vile was the price for which they did sell their souls, if they but knew!
103. If they had kept their Faith and guarded themselves from evil, far better had been the reward from their Lord, if they but knew!
104. O ye of Faith! Say not (to the Messenger. words of ambiguous import, but words of respect; and hearken (to him): To those without Faith is a grievous punishment.
105. It is never the wish of those without Faith among the People of the Book, nor of the Pagans, that anything good should come down to you from your Lord. But Allah will choose for His special Mercy whom He will – for Allah is Lord of grace abounding.
106. None of Our revelations do We abrogate or cause to be forgotten, but We substitute something better or similar: Knowest thou not that Allah Hath power over all things?
107. Knowest thou not that to Allah belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth? And besides Him ye have neither patron nor helper.
108. Would ye question your Messenger as Moses was questioned of old? but whoever changeth from Faith to Unbelief, Hath strayed without doubt from the even way.
109. Quite a number of the People of the Book wish they could Turn you (people) back to infidelity after ye have believed, from selfish envy, after the Truth hath become Manifest unto them: But forgive and overlook, Till Allah accomplish His purpose; for Allah Hath power over all things.
110. And be steadfast in prayer and regular in charity: And whatever good ye send forth for your souls before you, ye shall find it with Allah. for Allah sees Well all that ye do.
111. And they say: “None shall enter Paradise unless he be a Jew or a Christian.” Those are their (vain) desires. Say: “Produce your proof if ye are truthful.”
112. Nay,-whoever submits His whole self to Allah and is a doer of good,- He will get his reward with his Lord; on such shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.
113. The Jews say: “The Christians have naught (to stand) upon; and the Christians say: “The Jews have naught (To stand) upon.” Yet they (Profess to) study the (same) Book. Like unto their word is what those say who know not; but Allah will judge between them in their quarrel on the Day of Judgment.
114. And who is more unjust than he who forbids that in places for the worship of Allah, Allah.s name should be celebrated?-whose zeal is (in fact) to ruin them? It was not fitting that such should themselves enter them except in fear. For them there is nothing but disgrace in this world, and in the world to come, an exceeding torment.
115. To Allah belong the east and the West: Whithersoever ye turn, there is the presence of Allah. For Allah is all-Pervading, all-Knowing.
116. They say: “(Allah) hath begotten a son” :Glory be to Him.-Nay, to Him belongs all that is in the heavens and on earth: everything renders worship to Him.
117. To Him is due the primal origin of the heavens and the earth: When He decreeth a matter, He saith to it: “Be,” and it is.
118. Say those without knowledge: “Why speaketh not Allah unto us? or why cometh not unto us a Sign?” So said the people before them words of similar import. Their hearts are alike. We have indeed made clear the Signs unto any people who hold firmly to Faith (in their hearts).
119. Verily We have sent thee in truth as a bearer of glad tidings and a warner: But of thee no question shall be asked of the Companions of the Blazing Fire.
120. Never will the Jews or the Christians be satisfied with thee unless thou follow their form of religion. Say: “The Guidance of Allah,-that is the (only) Guidance.” Wert thou to follow their desires after the knowledge which hath reached thee, then wouldst thou find neither Protector nor helper against Allah.
121. Those to whom We have sent the Book study it as it should be studied: They are the ones that believe therein: Those who reject faith therein,- the loss is their own.

Verse 106 specifically tells us that Allah does not “abrogate” or replace the verses of his revelations. This only seems necessary in a chapter that is essentially apologetical in nature (as you have seen, it obsessively criticizes Jews, Christians, and the mysterious Sabians) if there is an extant criticism of Islam at the time of its authorship necessitating such defensiveness.

The Qur’an is not arranged in chronological order of its revelation to Muhammed, it is arranged from longest chapter to shortest except for its first chapter. Surah 2: the Heifer is actually one of the last ones revealed: according to the general academic consensus (which is consistent with the commentaries by the faithful that I read in preparing the Jefferson Quran), it stands way down the list at 87th written. This puts it far behind the interesting Surah 23: the Star, itself at 53rd.I call the Star interesting more for what is excluded from it than what is included, namely, those verses that have today come to be called “the Satanic Verses.”

When we get to surah 23 in the coming weeks I will go into greater detail about what the Satanic Verses are, why they are important, and why I think that the story behind them is authentic and not an invention of later critics, but for now let me give you the quick overview. While reciting the Star, Muhammed allegedly recited verses that more or less require that Allah stands in a quasi-polytheistic relationship to three other pre-Islamic Arabian gods named al-Lat, al-Uzza, and Manat, called the gharaniq all together, who, according to the Satanic verses, had certain intercessory powers (ie, they could answer prayers).

The general apologetical tact is to either deny the existence of the event at all (highly unlikely in my view) or to take the more imaginative route of saying that Satan interfered with the recitation of the Star, either by distorting Muhammed’s words, confusing the listeners, or beguiling Muhammed himself into actually speaking the words. Hence, the “Satanic” verses.

Verse 106 is one piece of evidence to me suggesting that the incident of the Satanic Verses actually happened; if we begin with the premise that the general historiography of the Qur’an is correct, that the hadith preserving the story of the Satanic Verses is accurate (and as it is embedded in a longer hadith surviving through ibn Ishaq, who is otherwise generally accepted as reliable by historians of Islam, there is no reason to think otherwise), and if we agree that it makes more sense from a theological point of view to say that the incident never occurred at all as opposed to some convoluted apologetical nonsense about Satan warbling the soundwaves between Muhammed’s mouth and his secretaries’ ears, and that surah 2 comes chronologically later than surah 23, then 2:106 makes perfect sense as a defensive reaction to stories about the Satanic Verses: which stories have no proper place existing at all if they are not rooted in some, or complete, truth.

Much of the rest of this section is at least thematically consistent with what we’ve seen: 2:102 shows that Muhammed has an okay grasp of Jewish canon but not a great one, condensing several stories about Solomon and Simon the Mage into a single blurb that serves only to excoriate “the Jews” for some kind of blood libel-style mass apostasy. Verse 108 hammers home that surah 2 is apologetical in nature, dedicated to defending Muhammed from what were likely lines of theological attack for the Christian and Jewish communities of contemporary Medina, specifically comparing Muhammed to Moses and the doubts that Muhammed seem to think were leveled at him by the Jews at the foot of Mt. Sinai (per the material from the previous sections of this chapter), even though the skepticism to which he probably means to refer actually came from Pharaoh in Egypt.

But there is some text that can be sliced out. To wit:

2:109 Quite a number of the People of the Book wish they could turn you people back after you believed, but forgive them.

This is just a nice sentiment extracted from the context. Forgiving thy enemies is one of those things that I think we all wish that the rest of the People of the Book would take more seriously.

2:111 And they say: “None shall enter Paradise unless he be a Jew or a Christian.” These are their vain desires. Say: Produce your proof if you are truthful.

2:113 The Jews say: “The Christians have nothing to stand upon,” and the Christians say, “The Jews have nothing to stand upon.” Yet they profess to study the same Book.

2:114 And who is more unjust than he who forbids that in places for the worship of Allah, Allah’s name should be celebrated?

2:120 Never will the Jews or the Christians be satisfied with you unless you follow their form of religion.

Much as the phrase “the Jews” gives me the heeby-jeebies, these verses weave together an elegant solution to all sectarian conflict, to all disagreements about theology and interpretation of this or that big book of Important Truths: “Produce your proof if you are truthful.” There is also a delicious irony in 2:113’s excoriating the Christians and the Jews for fighting amongst themselves “yet they profess to study the same Book,” while Muhammed himself is trying to stitch together a wobbly little storyline out of his own understanding of the Jewish scriptures.

2:120 is in the Jefferson Qur’an because I believe that, as nasty as the sentiment of the verse in isolation is, it is true. There really are people in this world who want nothing from you short of your immortal soul. Some of them will knock on your door a little too early in the morning on Saturday until they get it; some will stick pamphlets and tracts in library books until they get it; the best of the lot will just pray their hearts out until they get it.

The worst are the ones who will fight you for it. To them I say, leave the suicide vest, the gun, and the grenade at home, and produce your proof if you are truthful!

Surah 2:75-101: We who are perverse

Continuing onward through one of the more obliquely anti-Semitic parts of the Qur’an, we are muddling through yet more Qur’anic retconning of the Old Testament. The dilemma Muhammed faced in the religiously cosmopolitan city of Medina (where this surah was almost certainly written) is not unlike that faced by certain notable frauds and delusions of more recent memory: how to claim for your new religion the dignity of ancient antiquity, while still preserving its uniqueness from those very ancient religions with which you compete. Muhammed’s answer in surah 2, which will be repeated in occasionally more ridiculous and vulgar iterations throughout the Qur’an, is simple: the good Jews like Moses and Solomon were faithful Muslims who worshiped Allah – the rest are basically apostates, or as 2:99 puts it, “perverse.” Specifically, Muhammed places the great falling-away of the Jews from Allah (at least here) in the story of Moses’ lonely ascent of the Sinai, Muhammed’s garbled interpretation of which you’ll find here:

75. Can ye (o ye men of Faith) entertain the hope that they will believe in you?- Seeing that a party of them heard the Word of Allah, and perverted it knowingly after they understood it.
76. Behold! when they meet the men of Faith, they say: “We believe”: But when they meet each other in private, they say: “Shall you tell them what Allah hath revealed to you, that they may engage you in argument about it before your Lord?”- Do ye not understand (their aim)?
77. Know they not that Allah knoweth what they conceal and what they reveal?
78. And there are among them illiterates, who know not the Book, but (see therein their own) desires, and they do nothing but conjecture.
79. Then woe to those who write the Book with their own hands, and then say:”This is from Allah,” to traffic with it for miserable price!- Woe to them for what their hands do write, and for the gain they make thereby.
80. And they say: “The Fire shall not touch us but for a few numbered days:” Say: “Have ye taken a promise from Allah, for He never breaks His promise? or is it that ye say of Allah what ye do not know?”
81. Nay, those who seek gain in evil, and are girt round by their sins,- they are companions of the Fire: Therein shall they abide (For ever).
82. But those who have faith and work righteousness, they are companions of the Garden: Therein shall they abide (For ever).
83. And remember We took a covenant from the Children of Israel (to this effect): Worship none but Allah. treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in prayer; and practise regular charity. Then did ye turn back, except a few among you, and ye backslide (even now).
84. And remember We took your covenant (to this effect): Shed no blood amongst you, nor turn out your own people from your homes: and this ye solemnly ratified, and to this ye can bear witness.
85. After this it is ye, the same people, who slay among yourselves, and banish a party of you from their homes; assist (Their enemies) against them, in guilt and rancour; and if they come to you as captives, ye ransom them, though it was not lawful for you to banish them. Then is it only a part of the Book that ye believe in, and do ye reject the rest? but what is the reward for those among you who behave like this but disgrace in this life?- and on the Day of Judgment they shall be consigned to the most grievous penalty. For Allah is not unmindful of what ye do.
86. These are the people who buy the life of this world at the price of the Hereafter: their penalty shall not be lightened nor shall they be helped.
87. We gave Moses the Book and followed him up with a succession of apostles; We gave Jesus the son of Mary Clear (Signs) and strengthened him with the holy spirit. Is it that whenever there comes to you an apostle with what ye yourselves desire not, ye are puffed up with pride?- Some ye called impostors, and others ye slay!
88. They say, “Our hearts are the wrappings (which preserve Allah.s Word: we need no more).” Nay, Allah.s curse is on them for their blasphemy: Little is it they believe.
89. And when there comes to them a Book from Allah, confirming what is with them,- although from of old they had prayed for victory against those without Faith,- when there comes to them that which they (should) have recognised, they refuse to believe in it but the curse of Allah is on those without Faith.
90. Miserable is the price for which they have sold their souls, in that they deny (the revelation) which Allah has sent down, in insolent envy that Allah of His Grace should send it to any of His servants He pleases: Thus have they drawn on themselves Wrath upon Wrath. And humiliating is the punishment of those who reject Faith.
91. When it is said to them, “Believe in what Allah Hath sent down, “they say, “We believe in what was sent down to us:” yet they reject all besides, even if it be Truth confirming what is with them. Say: “Why then have ye slain the prophets of Allah in times gone by, if ye did indeed believe?”
92. There came to you Moses with clear (Signs); yet ye worshipped the calf (Even) after that, and ye did behave wrongfully.
93. And remember We took your covenant and We raised above you (the towering height) of Mount (Sinai): (Saying): “Hold firmly to what We have given you, and hearken (to the Law)”: They said:” We hear, and we disobey:” And they had to drink into their hearts (of the taint) of the calf because of their Faithlessness. Say: “Vile indeed are the behests of your Faith if ye have any faith!”
94. Say: “If the last Home, with Allah, be for you specially, and not for anyone else, then seek ye for death, if ye are sincere.”
95. But they will never seek for death, on account of the (sins) which their hands have sent on before them. and Allah is well-acquainted with the wrong-doers.
96. Thou wilt indeed find them, of all people, most greedy of life,-even more than the idolaters: Each one of them wishes He could be given a life of a thousand years: But the grant of such life will not save him from (due) punishment. For Allah sees well all that they do.
97. Say: Whoever is an enemy to Gabriel-for he brings down the (revelation) to thy heart by Allah.s will, a confirmation of what went before, and guidance and glad tidings for those who believe,-
98. Whoever is an enemy to Allah and His angels and apostles, to Gabriel and Michael,- Lo! Allah is an enemy to those who reject Faith.
99. We have sent down to thee Manifest Signs (ayat); and none reject them but those who are perverse.
100. Is it not (the case) that every time they make a covenant, some party among them throw it aside?- Nay, Most of them are faithless.
101. And when there came to them an apostle from Allah, confirming what was with them, a party of the people of the Book threw away the Book of Allah behind their backs, as if (it had been something) they did not know!

Many are the names of God in Judaism, but it is beyond balderdash to claim that Moses or any other Jew would have used the word Allah to refer to God in a devotional sense, but in researching the historical context of this surah I came upon the interesting historical tidbit that it is not at all impossible that Jews would at least have known the word Allah long before the 7th century when the Qur’an was first received.

Both Jews and the word “Allah” enjoy an extensive history in the Arabian peninsula long predating Islam. Jews are known to have dispersed throughout what today is called Saudi Arabia after the destruction of the Second Temple in the 1st century, and, as certain mean-spirited Christian apologists take endless delight in pointing out, the word “Allah” has antecedents in both “pagan” and even Christian liturgy from around the same time period. Such historical fact raises a question that likely has some semiotic significance doubtlessly discoverable only deep in the navels of the great linguists. When I say God and a Jew says Adonai, it appears that we are referring to the same being. When I say God and a modern-day Muslim says Allah, it also appears that we are referring to the same being. Why is it wrong, then, to say that when Moses supposedly says Allah and I say God, we are again referring to the same being?

I think it is because when a 7th-century Arabian speaking outside of the Christian tradition says Allah, he is saying something more like Wodin or Demeter than God. A normally-acculturated 7th-century Arabian who hears the word Allah would have understood it to mean one of several members, or perhaps one concept among several theological concepts, in pre-Islamic Arabian times whom Muhammed simply intended to elevate above all others by association with the ancient gods of his co-monotheists. I commend you to works far more scholarly than mine for a more detailed look at the role of Allah in pre-Islamic Arabian polytheism, such as the magnificent Encyclopedia of Islam, though I must concede that in preparing the original Jefferson Qur’an I read a much older edition of that book than is available today and it is possible that the scholarly consensus has since shifted.

In this section I have preserved for the final version of the Jefferson Qur’an a (so far) record-setting seven verses, though some only in part. Because they do not form a nice or consistent narrative, I will explain my reasoning for their survival one at a time:

2:75 Can you, O men of Faith, entertain the hope that they will believe in you?

2:89 And when there comes to them a Book, they refuse to believe in it.

Even without the obvious original intention that this particular verse refer specifically to Muslims, I rather like the sentiment, since here God has told Muhammed something whose obviousness should be imparted likewise on the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons who from time to time darken my doorstep: “do you really think that everybody is going to buy what you’re selling?” Not everyone who smells what you’re stepping in wants to follow in your footsteps.

2:96 You will indeed find them, of all people, most greedy of life: each one of them wishes he could be given a life of a thousand years.

Scorn for those who crave eternal life is just a nice sentiment for reasons comporting with my own philosophical leanings, namely, that mortality is generally a good thing and that eternal life is not altogether desirable. I once had the great pleasure of hosting the inestimable Robert M. Price at the Secular Student Alliance chapter of my alma mater, whose talk’s Q&A session saw a delightful exchange between Dr. Price and a good friend of mine in the audience, a devout evangelical type, paraphrased thusly:

Dr. Price: And what exactly is it that you would do for eternity in heaven?

Friend: …worship God?

Dr. Price: Well that sounds like it’d get pretty boring after a while.

Not an exact quote from any party involved, but you get the gist. “Greedy of life,” in the Qur’an’s phrasing, is such a nicely indelicate way of heaping scorn on what is truly my least favorite aspect of so many religions, which is the idea that it’s just a gas to go on and on and on for its own sake.

2:78 And there are among them illiterates, who do not know the Book, but see therein their own desires, and they do nothing but conjecture.

2:85 Then it is only a part of the Book that you believe in, and do you reject the rest? But what is the reward for those among you who behave like this but disgrace in this life?

2:87 Is it that whenever there comes to you a Messenger with what you yourselves do not desire, you are puffed up with pride?

Here is another fine sentiment to be turned on its head against the people who claim to believe it. How is any Muslim at all to know that he or she is not one of those “illiterates” referred to by this very verse, who stares at the Qur’an and only sees whatever comports most comfortably with their own biases and assumptions?

2:84 Shed no blood amongst you, nor turn out your own people from your homes.

I will go out of my way to preserve uncontroversially decent sentiments from the Qur’an if for no other reason than because I despise the attitudes of certain of my countrymen holding that the Qur’an is an irredeemable work of violent garbage from cover to cover. It is not. A lot of it is, but then, a lot of it isn’t, either. A lot of it is perfectly decent. Not killing and evicting each other – that is a perfectly decent attitude.

We are making progress. The baneful drudgery of surah 2’s Old Testament remixing is slowly coming to an end. At the very least you may rest assured that the next section contains some more bizarrely interesting Qur’anic apologetics.